numb

Im stuck. Stuck and i dont even know in what...a moment? a feeling? sensation maybe?....dont know
I dont know what i feel....like crap thats for sure.
I made a mess out of things and i dont know how to fix it...every step feels like it just keeps making things worse...every single second makes me feel worse and worse....and there's no possible way out, there's no solution, no way to make it better...
I cant believe how I screwed up things so badly, how I made such bad decissions...It was fine until I knew...and from that moment on...I was no better than he is...no better than every cheater out there, every lying bastard...
this is beyond a mistake...this is not supposed to happen...messing with people's feelings...this has never been my thing, this is not me, i dont do these things....
im a good girl........im a good girl.......