sensitive but surprisingly strong

how come if im so perfectly fine i cant stop eating every time i find myself not-busy?

i hate holidays when i have nothing to do, but these holidays are perfect, im always busy

coming here and going there

meeting friends and family, enjoying life.

But still something seems to be wrong, obviously.

Maybe its the fact that even though im having a good time i havent yet figured out what i am going to do with mjy life. And 'am also worried about the amount of exams i owe. Am i going to live abroad? doing what? where? how?

how can someone have the power to make another person happy? this is too much..

have the power of someones happines without even asking for it. its a burdon

even worse knowing that u cant give them what will make them happy

what are we supposed to say on those cases? "im sorry"? thats it??? thats not good enough...im sorry.....how are you gonna say im sorry...what is that??? no, this isnt right.

"someone always ends up hurt" well this is not good enough for me, there must be something else...another way.

This is why im never scared, i have nothing to lose, nothing to risk. im always fine, ill always be fine.

Worse case scenario ill put on some weight maybe 4kg and get a little depressed during winter

And its not that i dont risk anything, cuz i do, a lot, and i always give so much, but somehow manage to stay "untouched", solid, complete, strong.