one of those days

often i sit down and think of you for a while
i think of what we used to be
the way we used to smile
the way we used to play
and i still dont get it
how i burned down our ilusions
i came with my black ink and stained our little white world
so fragile, so perfect, so pure.
You forgave me,
and still you asked me if i had forgiven myself
how great are you!
Oh the images you must've built up in your mind...
it kills me to think that im to blame for the pain you felt
but its the truth, and i must live with it.
Today is one of those days
when i remind myself of what ive done
the moment i decided to cross the dividing line
from the simple human beings to the special ones
no longer am i a special one.
So the answer is no
i havent forgiven myself, i dont think i can.